Last week I asked my readers to answer a poll about the best number of years between kids. The poll results were fairly even for the first 24 hours or so, but after the first day, new readers started voting, and one clear winner emerged. So, here are the results!
1 year: 11.43%
2 years: 51.43%
3 years: 28.57%
4+ years: 2.86%
Stop after 1 child: 0%
Over half of my voters said that 2 years is a great number of years between kids. Wow! I actually was not expecting that result. Now that Emma is 1, a lot of people have been asking me if we are going to have another baby soon. I thought this was jumping the gun a little bit, but according to my poll results, most people think 2 years is a great distance between kids. I guess Brandon and I better get busy?!?! Here are a few detailed explanations and comments that I received.
To view all of the comments, or participate in the poll, please visit my original post.
1. Seriously, the timing has to be up to the couple–what are your goals, or even your motives for conceiving an another eternal being. I believe you mentioned in a post that it was somewhat miraculous that you have Emma! Mine was not necessarily planned, so I am speaking loosely here! My three sons were each less than 2 years apart. And that was beautiful. And it put a great deal of stress on our young marriage, and thus on my babies. But did I mention how cool it was that they were so close! And how difficult that they were often corralled by a tired momma who “just needed a break.” Funny thing, we waited three years before having Amy…and I had already forgotten A LOT about babies. Respecting others’ decisions is key, and good communication and calendar reading is crucial to your family planning goals!!
2. My kids are 22 months apart and I think this was a perfect age for us. They are very close and hug and kiss each other all the time. They obviously have their arguments but it is never anything like my sister and I were. (we are 28 months apart and fought all the time.) When I took my childbirth refresher course, our instructor said it is best to have a second before the first turns 2 because after a few weeks the first will not remember being by him or her self. I wasn’t sure how my son would do when we brought my daughter home because he is such a momma’s boy but he has loved her from the beginning. I think the most important thing no matter the age gap is to include the other child. We always said when I was pregnant that it was our baby. My son is very protective of his younger sister. My youngest is now 2 1/2 and we are expecting our 3rd. Both kids are very excited and my daughter calls it her baby. I am looking forward to seeing their reactions when they see it at my sono later this month!
3. My daughter just turned two and we too have been getting plagued with this question. We are still on the fence about when or if we will be ready for baby number two. I am enjoying my daughter growing up and she is doing it so fast, I don’t want to miss anything. Although I am not sure i would want them to be more than 5 years apart. 4 to me seems reasonable.
4. My husband and I have not had kids yet but think that 2 years apart would be great based on what we have seen in other families. Him and his one sister were 4 years apart and he thinks that was too much since they didn’t really get close until after college. My mom had 6 kids and they were all about 16 months apart – but in two sets (my mom was married twice). We were all able to play together and be in the same stages around the same time.
5. I honestly think it depends entirely on you and your kids. I have almost exactly 2 years between my boys and so far, it’s been ok and I think it’s a good age gap that they will grow into nicely together. If we had another, I’d wait a bit longer because it can be very hectic the first months. I also know of many that have much greater or much less of an age gap and manage just fine. I think it depends on how much you can take on and where you’re kids are at. No matter what though, if you love on them and teach them the important life lessons, that’s all they need. Remember that no matter the age gap, they won’t know any different